Salam, i will overcome?

I am taking the step to stop. to leave him. not pick up his calls or welcome him. my fear has always been not being able to cope after i leave him. i tink emotionally he has never been mine. i will cry and scream and kick but its not for him, its what what i have lost, a marriage and a family life for my child. it hurts like hell but i cant make him love me or even bother to show affection. i jumped into this marriage hoping to get over my ex, but this was even worse. he never loved me or had my interest at heart. he brought me bad luck, since we married i have lost many things (jobs and friends). eachday will be a new day. i have no self love and that is why i am going through this. i will overcome. i patiently wait for the moment he tries to come back.i will close my heart on him completely.