What do you think of this (first draft I know it sucks but still.)?

My heart was trying to break out my chest and my tears made everything hard to see. My breaths were small and short and I felt lightheaded. I pressed the gun against my temples, wondering if I was actually about to end my life. My thoughts were running at 100 miles per hour. 'Dont do this..' 'Do it!' "You'll regret it..' 'DONT LISTEN TO THEM! DO IT! TRUST ME!' I was about to crack under the pressure of my subconscious mind. My fingers wrapped around the trigger slightly. I shut my eyes tight; "Goodbye world.." and pulled it. BANG!! To my surprise, I ended up staring at my ceiling. "****!!!!" I accidently yelled out. "It was just a dream.." I pushed my face into my pillow, trying to go back to sleep. Maybe one day that dream would come true, and when it does I would be happy. Really happy.